We think we’re hideous but someone else out there thinks we’re gorgeous.
We don’t ask out that person because we tell ourselves that they couldn’t like us.
Recently, I came across one good article in thought catalog. The above is one of the related part of the article for me. I don't know how someone/someone new sees me from my outer look, my appearance. Do I look confident? Do I look like I'm proud of myself?
After reading that article, I'm thinking about what I might do wrong about myself :
1. Over-thinking
2. Over-talking
3. Over-expecting
(not sure if those words exist, but yeah)
For the first one, yes, over-thinking leads to
baper. I am over-thinking on almost everything.
Baper is like the way of my life. Friendship, love life, office drama, just name it. I remember once my friend told me that I was way too
baper. At first, I was mad at him but lately I feel sort of ashamed of myself, especially the super
baper version of myself. Cause really, I realize that I am that
baper.
For the second one, it's not that I am socially active, or talkative, not at all. It's just that I do really like to tell stories when I find the "connection" with that certain people. I am usually quite, but once I get comfortable with someone, I will talk, talk, and talk. And so I remember my other friend told me that I need to "meet" a guy who would like to listen to my endless stories. Lol. I just came to a realization that this second part actually would freak people out. As I would talk about everything... sometimes I believe they will find me....scary? If not, they will slowly back off from my life. Maybe it's normal to talk and talk and talk. But on the other hand, it gets really tiring to listen to other people's drama? So sometimes, it's better to keep something to yourself and let you solve it yourself.
For the last one, it's kinda connected with the first one. Over-thinking, over-expecting,
baper. That vicious cycle. Every time I don't hope or expect for something, I get it. SO is it that wrong to hope, to expect? This time I remember what my other other friend told me "you are not allowed to be sad if you don't do anything about it". That's what exactly I do. I just hope and expect without really doing something about it. And by not doing anything, I'm hoping something will happen just as it is. So who's the wrong here?
I'm not really sure about what I just wrote here but I do admit that it's because of him.
.
.
.
Azik.
